Emotions

Many people have asked me in the last few weeks...."Are you excited? Are you scared? Are you sad to leave?" I have to admit that I am not excited, scared or sad.

I know, without a doubt, that I am supposed to go to South Africa. I cannot imagine staying in the US....it is just so right to go.

I am not excited yet...there is too much to do right now that I cannot begin to see into the future. And I think it may be best to show up with no expectations. I'll just take things as they come. I am eager to go and see how I can help those children. I am eager to get started so there are answers to all of my "what will it be like" questions.

I am not scared. You can read many things about Johannesburg that are not encouraging or positive....but I have no fear. I know God has called me there, and I know He will protect me while I am there.

Am I sad? I think a part of me is sad....but not like I expected to be. I think the sadness comes from knowing that I will never be in the US and see it as I see it now. None of my favorite places will be the same when I get back. Although things may change physically, I think things will be different because I will be looking at them with different eyes.

But more than sad, I think I feel lonely. I know my friends and family in the US will miss me....but they still have their life, their family and their friends. I'm one small factor in their life that will change. But I am going off by myself. My location, vocation, and daily life will change....AND I will not have my family and friends close by....ALL factors of my life will change. I think this feeling of loneliness is a normal part of leaving. But its pretty tough.

Please pray for me. Pray that God is preparing good friends for me in South Africa. Pray that I will be able to pack everything I need and stick well with in the baggage limits. Pray that the flights be smooth. Pray that I will adjust to a new time zone well.

Thanks for your prayers!! I know they are working.